


Saying Goodbye

by Ellie5192



Series: Two Birds [16]
Category: E/R (1984)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 15:06:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5379692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellie5192/pseuds/Ellie5192
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”  ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saying Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> But legit question, who is still following this story? Holy wow, it’s been a long time!

**_Saying Goodbye_ **

The first time Eve left Rachel for her first full day of babysitting, they’d both cried for a good hour. The babysitter was Eve’s sister, and the full day was only a seven hour shift. But after six months of constantly being together, the longest time they’ve been apart was the night of the wedding. Eve’s four hour part-time administrative shifts have held little excitement for either of them, never truly long enough to cause anxiety, and neither mother or daughter was particularly ready to be separated for much longer.

That first day, when Karen was down and could spare a day to watch Rachel, Howard had held Eve’s hand in the car on the way to the hospital and convinced her not to call the house every five minutes just to check on them.

So it was no surprise, to anyone, that Rachel’s first day of proper full-time daycare was difficult for her mother. Excruciating, even, if only for the fact she packed and repacked her bag, made sure she had all her favourite toys when really one would do, and wrote a full page list of numbers the centre could call if something went wrong.

Howard, for all his fussing and doting, could only roll his eyes and bear it; far be it for him to give his wife a lecture on daughters when only a week ago he had a heart attack at Jenny insisting she go to a rock concert on a Saturday night. (He still firmly believes that chaperoned concerts and supervised daycare do not sit in the same category, but Eve won’t be told, and he doesn’t want the fight.)

“She’s nine months old, sweetheart, it’s time” says Howard, holding her around the shoulders as they walk from the daycare doors. It’s only across the street from the hospital, the place where all the staff sends their children – one of the few centres so close that has extended hours for all the shift work they do. They can come and see her later if they want, but Howard looks heavenward and sends a prayer that they don’t.

“I know that” says Eve, sniffling a little bit. “And I can’t believe I’m one of those women-“

“One of what women, dear?” he asks, his tone going unnoticed by Eve, who is too busy holding back a sob and avoiding hysteria.

“Oh, you know, they wail and moan about going back to the career they spent years working hard for, worried about nappies and formula and… and… if she has her… favourite blanket-“

Eve’s explanation falls short as her chin wobbles again, a fresh well of tears starting that she is determined to stamp down. Howard, to his credit, is equally determined not to laugh at her. As much as he doesn’t like seeing his baby girl grow up – he loves them when they’re small, and cute, and not yet walking – he has done this twice before. The thrill of first day at darecare is buried deep.

“Eve, you know as well as I do that separation anxiety is perfectly normal, but don’t worry, Rachel is in the best possible hands. I promise you, she’ll be fine, and she’ll still love you when you get home tonight”

They walk into the E/R main doors with their arms still around each other, Eve snuffling away under Howard’s arm, and Maria looks up with an alarmed but understanding look on her face.

“Oh, Doctors Sheinfeld” she coos, though she knows full well Eve retained her name. “Is this about leaving the baby with strangers?”

Howard’s eyes roll skyward and a fresh round of tears starts with Eve, and he gives Maria a baleful look, which she just shrugs off with wide eyes. “I guess it must be”

Thor walks around the partition and shoos Howard away, taking Eve with her into the examination area, giving Howard a look like he’s to blame for her state. He just takes his arms out wide, a look of complete defeat on his face.

From off to the side, Ace leans against the wall, a toothpick in his mouth and a cocky grin on his face.

“Women, huh doc?”

Howard glares at him. Julie laughs at the both of them. Ace likes to tease, but she knows Howard has a soft spot for the kid; he wouldn’t let Jenny hang out with him if he didn’t secretly like him.

It’s not that Howard doesn’t sympathise with Eve’s plight; he does, and Rachel is growing up far too quickly for his liking. David is living abroad for this semester of college, enjoying the experience of working and studying in London. He is a fine young man – Howard wouldn’t have let him leave the country if he didn’t trust his choices and his common sense. He will come home better for the experience and more mature for having seen the world out from under his parent’s wing. Jenny is sixteen now and although living peacefully under their roof, she is branching out more and more from them; nights out are getting steadily later than her 10pm curfew, and Howard stresses every time she’s a minute after midnight, even (or especially) on the weekend. Eve still councils her when it’s needed, a friend who never wanted to replace her mother but nevertheless provides a steady presence. Jenny too is growing up; already she’s considering colleges of her own, and whether she’d like to gap year first since David’s experience has been so enjoyable.

And now there is Rachel, who is his baby in every sense of the world; the typical child of a second (third) marriage who will never have the luxury of pulling the wool over their eyes. Howard is too long experienced at parenthood to fall for it, the softy that he is, and Eve is too pragmatic to be sucked into helicopter parenting. This bout will pass soon enough, Howard knows it.

But even so. Letting their baby go for a full day at daycare is the first of many such instances of releasing her into the world. Soon will come school, sleepovers, summer camp, college, and before they know it she’ll be David’s age and they’ll be putting her on a plane to see the world. She’s still so little, but already sitting up by herself, and even attempting to pull herself upright to stand, though with little success. Her features are starting to take form; she definitely has Eve’s eyes, which draw him in. She has his shaped fingernails, which makes Eve smile and hold his hand, which is just fine by him. It’s too early to tell yet whose nose she’ll inherit.

It feels like a moment ago he was sitting next to Eve on the break room couch, asking her on a date to cheer her up. What a difference almost two years can make.

He walks after Eve and Thor, ignoring the curious look from Ace as he goes. The boy will figure out soon enough that when it comes to women, a little grovelling never goes astray.

He hears part of the conversation as he approaches the door and walks in, Eve’s sentence falling short as they see him

“… but he’s done this before. I’m just finding it really hard-”

“It’s always difficult” says Thor, rubbing Eve’s back where they sit at the table. Howard immediately turns and pours two coffees, placing them in front of the two women as a peace offering.

“I just never saw myself as one of those mother’s, you know?” says Eve, snuffling and picking up her coffee to take a sip.

“Sweetheart” says Howard, coming to stand behind her and rubbing her shoulders. “You’re one of the most warm, loving people I know. Of course you feel this way”

Even sniffs and nods, but doesn’t say anything.

“Hey. Maybe we’ll get a nice car accident” he says, feigning excitement. “Something non-fatal, just to distract you, give you some people to boss around, a few wounds to suture. You can tell Ace that he’s bandaging wrong or something. Would you like that?”

If Howard notices the looks of disbelief and slight disgust on the faces of Thor and Eve, he doesn’t change his light and fun tone. He continues to massage her shoulders lightly, oblivious or perhaps wilfully ignorant of the hush that settles over them.

“Yeah, we’ll get you a car accident” starts Thor, obvious mockery in her tone. “Right after the stabbing of a mediocre doctor”

Her comment at least makes Eve chuckle. She wipes the remaining tears from her cheeks as she gives Thor a look of comradery. “But who’s going to do it?” she asks. “I have a baby, you know, I can’t go to prison”

“Well honey, I have a Bud, so I can’t go to prison either”

“Excuse me ladies, but are you casually discussing my murder?”

Eve turns her head to look up at him, grinning madly, her eyes dry and her spirits lifted. “No dearest, not murder. Just a gentle maiming”

Howard huffs and puffs and stalks away from them, going back to the coffee to collect one for himself and put a new pot on for the next person. He takes the chair across from them, slouching into it with as much drama as he can muster. Eve barely holds in her mirth, and Thor looks equally amused, though Howard gets the feeling there’s a level of derision in her gazer as well.

“Don’t pout, you’ll get wrinkles” says Thor, smiling wider when Howard shoots her a withering glare.

“I’ll give you wrinkles” he mutters, taking a sip of the coffee. It feels like divine retribution when the liquid is too hot and burns his tongue; Howard pulls away with a soft ‘ouch’. Eve laughs at him and shakes her head.

“Oh Howard, you truly are the worst at pep-talks” she says, sighing again at herself and giving Thor a look that says she’s past her bout of melancholy.

“I know” he says, sincere though she didn’t mean for him to be. “I try to be supportive, but, well…”

“You’ve done it all before, and it’s not that big a deal, I know, I know”

“Oh, I think it’s a big deal” says Thor, looking around the room, where Rachel spent much of her younger months strapped in a baby carrier. The hospital had just got used to having her around; if Julie couldn’t be found she was always at Rachel’s side, complaining about the latest terrible date. There was a sense of joviality having a baby around to draw their minds away from the carnage and misery that came through the doors.

“You’ll be fine” adds Thor, patting her shoulder as she stands and goes to leave. “And like Howard said; maybe we’ll get something extra nasty come in, and before you know it the night will be over and you’ll be heading home covered in muck”

And with that she walks out and closes the break room door behind her, leaving the other two just as stunned. Typical Thor, thinks Howard, switching tactics at the drop of a hat and leaving with a flourish.

“Oh Howard. How can you possibly suggest we do this again when I can’t even keep it together for a single day?”

Eve is looking at him with an indulgent smile. He makes mention of having a second baby now and then, usually as a joke. But sometimes she thinks he might really want to. She’s still not sure where she stands on the idea; one part of her has always wanted more than one child, like she and Karen had each other. But there’s her career to consider, and whether they can afford to have two additional mouths to feed. She can’t quite make up her mind. Perhaps it’s time to give it some serious thought.

“It’s the first day, dearest” Howard reminds her, standing to walk back behind her and start rubbing her shoulders again. “It’s only the first day. Each one after gets a little easier after this”

“I suppose so” she hums, enjoying the feel of his hands over the knots in her shoulders, working out the tension.

“And it wasn’t a suggestion, it was just a thought” he says, kissing the top of her head.

“What was?”

“I was just saying” he says, and takes a seat next to her and takes her hand in his. “That I’m open to another baby, if ever you want to entertain the idea. It’s up to you”

She smiles at him and places her hand on his cheek. Her simple gold wedding band glints at her, still taking her by surprise three months later. Some days she forgets it’s even there, others it feels heavy and foreign on her finger.

“You’re very sweet, you know that?” she says with a smile.

“Sweet as candy”

She raises a brow at him. “Not that sweet”

He looks affronted, but only a little bit. “Just for that, you get first broken leg of the night”

She smirks at him, raises her eyebrow, and then crosses her arms and leans back into her chair. “Oh really? Are you forgetting something?”

“What?”

“I am the boss. I get to decide”

And right on cue Howard’s eyes roll and he slouches in defeat, hauling to his feet with a groan. “Yes dear” he croons, and then saunters to the door, turns, salutes her, bows with his hand held wide, and then walks away with an exaggerated military march to join the others out in the main emergency room. She laughs after him, ineffectually throwing her plastic coffee stirrer at his back, missing by a mile.

He succeeded, she’ll give him that; no longer is she missing her daughter so keenly. Instead it’s a mild thought in her mind, punctuated by her father’s silly humour and the knowledge they can snuggle away on the couch that night as a family, just as soon as this shift is done.

But it doesn’t mean it will be any easier to say goodbye tomorrow morning.


End file.
